Have you ever looked into a mirror, deeply into your own eyes, and wondered, "Who am I, really?"

The truth though is that we all carry invisible backpacks filled with the weight of our past. 

Some are heavier than others.

If you who've wrestled with the demons of a tough upbringing, this backpack might seem like a daunting burden. 

But what if within that burden, there's hidden power, a unique strength born from your battles?

A super power that completely hidden from you.

This is what I will be illuminating in today's article...

In essence, this isn't just an article; it's a rally cry for all those who feel held back by their past.

It's a beacon of hope showing that, no matter how dark your beginnings, there's a world of potential within you waiting to be discovered. Your struggles don't make you worth less; they make you priceless.

This is your story, your triumph.

Let's get back to the question...

Does it matter if you were raised in love, or raised on survival?

This question is deeply significant because it addresses two fundamentally different experiences of childhood.

Each experience shaping a person's behavior, beliefs, emotions, and perspective on life.

These early experiences can have a profound influence on a person's trajectory in life, impacting everything from relationships and mental health to professional success and general well-being.

But what does it mean to be raised in love, and what does it mean to be raised on survival?

Raised in love: This generally refers to a nurturing, supportive, and emotionally fulfilling upbringing.

Children raised in such an environment typically receive consistent love, guidance, and support from their caregivers.

They are often better equipped to form healthy relationships, have higher self-esteem, and demonstrate empathy and cooperation.

They tend to have a secure attachment style that can lead to more fulfilling relationships in their adult life.

Raised on survival: This typically refers to a childhood characterized by adversity, such as poverty, neglect, or abuse.

These children often have to learn to fend for themselves from an early age and prioritize basic survival needs over emotional needs.

This can impact their ability to form secure attachments, potentially leading to difficulties in relationships and a higher likelihood of mental health issues in the future.

These experiences can also engender resilience and resourcefulness, as survival often requires adapting to changing circumstances and overcoming obstacles.

Am I at a disadvantage, If I am raised on survival?

If you were raised in survival mode, it is easy to focus only on how thos experiences have crippled you. To focus only on the pain those experiences have brough you and to focus soley on the weaknesses brought into your life by the trauma of the past.

This is not helped by the fact that society's biases often equates success and well-being with a stable and nurturing childhood.

And to make matters worse, many psychological and sociological studies highlight the potential adverse effects of challenging upbringings, which has influenced our collective consciousness.

Furthermore, the difficulties and challenges associated with a survival-focused upbringing — such as potential trauma, deprivation, or neglect — are often more immediately visible and tangible, and thus easier to recognize and discuss.

And naturally, if this is your experience you may find it harder to see the inherent strengths and resilience often developed under these circumstances, particularly if you're not looking for these positives.

But why should I even care about all of this?

There are several reasons why understanding the impact of your upbringing is beneficial.

Firstly, understanding how your past experiences may have shaped you can provide valuable insight into your behaviors, reactions, and emotions.

It can help you make sense of your feelings and actions, both towards yourself and others.

It can also illuminate why certain situations or relationships may feel particularly challenging.

Secondly, such understanding can serve as the starting point for healing and personal growth.

Acknowledging the impact of past trauma is often an important step in working through its effects and moving towards a place of resilience and strength.

Lastly, with understanding comes the ability to shape your future in a way that's more aligned with who you want to be.

Knowing how your past has influenced you gives you the power to consciously decide what you want to keep, what you want to change, and how you want to grow.

So why is this important?

The big point here is that your past does not have paower over your future. It is what you do with the assets that your past have given you that shapes your future...

What does this mean?

Your life could still go very wrong, even if you were raised in love

Assuming that being raised in love gives you an inherent advantage in life may lead to several potential negative impacts:

1. Complacency: If you believe you're inherently advantaged due to your upbringing, you may become complacent and stop striving to grow and improve. Personal growth requires continuous effort, regardless of your starting point.
2. Lack of Empathy or Understanding: Such an assumption could lead to a lack of empathy or understanding towards people who had different upbringings. It's crucial to appreciate that everyone's journey is unique and that people can thrive despite difficult childhoods, often because of the strength and resilience they developed.
3. Unrealistic Expectations: Assuming that being raised in love will always give you an advantage could set unrealistic expectations for your life. Everyone faces challenges and obstacles, and your upbringing won't necessarily shield you from hardships or guarantee success.
4. Difficulty Coping with Failure or Hardship: If you assume that your loving upbringing should always provide an advantage, you might struggle to cope when you face inevitable failures or hardships. Such experiences can lead to feelings of confusion, disappointment, or inadequacy.
5. Overdependency: If you associate a loving upbringing with a constant support system, you may become overly dependent on others for emotional support or decision-making, which might hinder your personal growth and self-reliance.

The converse is also true

Being raised on survival may give you so many advantages in life

For example, here are 15 common strengths that such an upbringing can foster:

1. Empathy: Experiencing hardship can make you more understanding and compassionate towards others who face challenges.
2. Realism: You might have a more practical and realistic view of life, which can help in setting achievable goals.
3. Independence: You might learn early how to rely on yourself and make your own decisions.
4. Strong work ethic: You're likely to understand the importance of hard work and responsibility from an early age.
5. Resilience: You may develop a strong ability to bounce back from setbacks and overcome adversity.
6. Adaptability: You might become adept at adjusting to new situations and changing circumstances quickly.
7. Resourcefulness: You're likely to develop a knack for making the most of what you have at your disposal.
8. Strength under pressure: You might be more equipped to stay strong and think clearly under high-pressure situations.
9. Creativity: Sometimes, making the most out of limited resources requires creative thinking and innovation.
10. Endurance: You might develop the ability to withstand prolonged stress or difficulty, making you mentally and emotionally robust.
11. Advocacy skills: Often, you learn to speak up and fight for your rights and needs, making you a strong advocate for yourself and others.
12. Tenacity: You may become relentless in pursuit of your goals, not easily deterred by obstacles.
13. Self-awareness: Through hardships, you may develop a deep understanding of your strengths and weaknesses.

These strengths can prove advantageous in various aspects of life.

For instance, resilience and adaptability are highly valued in the professional world.

Empathy and self-awareness can lead to enriching personal relationships.

Tenacity, and a strong work ethic can help you in achieving your goals.

And this is where the rubber hits the road, because...

If you did not know that you have any of these strenghts, not only might they not benefit you, they could also grow to work against you.

And if that happens, Your strenghts then become the same things that foster the weaknesses you come to dislike in yourself.

For example, 

1. Empathy: While empathy can create strong connections with others, too much empathy can result in emotional exhaustion or neglect of your own emotional needs.
2. Realism: While realism can provide a practical perspective on life, it might turn into pessimism if not balanced with positivity and optimism.
3. Independence: Too much independence might lead to isolation, as you may hesitate to seek help or build connections with others.
4. Strong work ethic: A strong work ethic is generally positive, but without balance, it can lead to workaholism, negatively affecting your health, personal life, and relationships.
5. Resilience: While resilience is generally a positive trait, being overly resilient might lead you to persist in harmful situations or relationships because you've grown accustomed to adversity.
6. Adaptability: If you're highly adaptable, you might neglect your own needs or desires to fit into changing circumstances, leading to a loss of self-identity.
7. Resourcefulness: This could also make you overly reliant on yourself, to the point of struggling to accept help or support from others.
8. Strength under pressure: Being strong under pressure might make you neglect your own need for rest and self-care, potentially leading to burnout.
9. Creativity: Excessive creativity can lead to being perceived as impractical or unrealistic, potentially causing others to dismiss your ideas or contributions.
10. Endurance: Having high endurance can push you to ignore your limits, which might lead to physical or emotional exhaustion over time.
11. Advocacy skills: Being a strong advocate can be great, but if taken to extremes, you might come across as aggressive or confrontational, which could alienate others.
12. Tenacity: Though tenacity is admirable, if unchecked, it could cause you to become inflexible or unyielding, which can limit your openness to new ideas or paths.
13. Self-awareness: While self-awareness is key to personal growth, too much self-focus can lead to excessive self-criticism or narcissism, damaging your relationships and self-esteem.

And here's the surprising twist

Could it be possible that the weaknesses you see in yourself, are really just due to overused strenghts. Strenghts you have come to rely heavily on as you learnt to survive the world that was forced on you.

Sadly, you have spent years berating yourself for these weaknesses. Thinking that they are intrinsic and useless parts of yourself.

Recognizing this can be liberating.

Because It means that you are not inherently bad or flawed, but instead, you have developed traits that need to be balanced and used appropriately.

It means you have the power to recalibrate, to reclaim control.

It means you  can...

Harness Your Past to Shape an Extraordinary Future

The mind-blowing truth...

Your past, whether filled with love or layered with struggle, isn't the whole story - it's what you do with it that counts.

We often think that growing up in a loving home is always the best, but it can make you lazy or dependent.

On the other hand, a tough childhood can make you incredibly strong and adaptable, even if people usually see it as a bad thing.

Plus, what you might think are your weaknesses could be your superpowers on overdrive! The awesome takeaway?

No matter your past, you've got the power to use your unique skills to shape your future and become your own superhero.

Your story is just getting started and trust me, it's gonna be legendary!

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More articles in this series

Why Obsessing Over Unavailable People Is a Harmful Escape

How To Stop Feeling Awkward Around Your Friends

Unlock Your Ultimate Confidence: 100 Game-Changing Self-Esteem Tips

Does it matter if you were raised in love, or raised on survival? (This article)

How to be yourself even if you fear rejection

Why people pleasing is not a virtue

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