Forgiveness and Self-Compassionscript 1

There is a difference between self-compassion and self-forgiveness.

Self-compassion is the ability to step back and offer kindness to your thoughts and feelings. You can offer kindness to yourself when you are overwhelmed and are unable to control your mind and emotions.

Self-compassion allows you to accept your current experience and not punish yourself when you feel overwhelmed.

Self-forgiveness offers forgiveness for those who have harmed you. With self-forgiveness, you are giving yourself permission to release the pain you are feeling toward yourself.

When you have the ability to offer self-forgiveness, it is a moment of true freedom. You can let go of the burden of resentments and open yourself up to love and compassion.

Find a comfortable posture in which to sit. Bring your awareness to the sensation of the body breathing. Focus on the chest or abdomen.

In the first few minutes, focus on the breath and allow the mind to settle. As thoughts arise, notice them but don’t push them away.

Bring your attention to the next few minutes and consider three qualities of your body. Name each quality that you like about yourself.

First, look at your body. What do you like about your body? Maybe it’s the way your hair feels or your skin. It may be your posture, your arms, your legs, or your belly.

As you name a physical characteristic, allow it to be as you feel it. There’s no need to try to change it or even like it in the moment.

Continue naming the characteristics that you like about your body. It’s helpful to use a sentence or a phrase, rather than just listing a word.

For example, you may say: I like the way my hair feels. Or, I like the way my skin feels.

Next, think about the qualities of your mind. What do you appreciate about your mind? Perhaps you appreciate your intellect, your emotional intelligence, or your insights.

Again, simply notice the experience of the quality. It may be that your mind feels calm or that you feel a certain way about yourself.

After a minute or two, shift your attention to the sense of touch. Bring your attention to your fingers and hands. Think about how they can provide pleasure or help you.

Begin with the body and then move to the mind. Notice that as you think of something about the body, you’re allowing that quality to be as you experience it.

Shift your attention to the sense of taste. This is the first of the five senses you will work with in this exercise.

Notice the taste of food in your mouth. Is it salty or sweet or bitter? Does it feel like anything at all? You may not be able to taste anything.

Focus on the taste of water and notice how your body feels. You may feel hot, cold, or tingly. How does it feel when you touch your lips?

Think of the sensations you are experiencing. Notice what is happening in the mind and heart.

You may notice some sensations in your body that you didn’t notice when you started. That’s okay. Don’t push away anything.

Keep bringing your attention back to the senses. Go through each sense, noticing what it brings you.

For the last few minutes, focus on the mind. As you think about your mind, notice how you feel.

Ask yourself: What do I appreciate about the mind? Is there anything about my mind that I like?

Continue with the final four senses. You may want to skip over the eye and nose. The eye and the nose don’t really bring you pleasure.

Instead, you may choose to focus on the ears, the lips, the tongue, the cheeks, or the neck.

Think about each sense in turn, noticing what it brings you. Notice what it feels like in your body. You may notice a sensation in your chest, stomach, or throat.

As you think of each sense, you are being gentle and kind. You are practicing self-compassion. You are allowing yourself to be present and know what is going on in your life. You are noticing yourself as a whole, and not focusing on the negative parts.

If you are new to this practice, take your time. The goal isn’t to get anywhere or to fix anything. The goal is simply to be present with your experience.

Once you’ve gone through all of the senses, close your eyes and invite gentleness into the body. Imagine that you are holding a hand or a foot. You are holding the body’s softness, and you are letting go of any resistance to that.

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Forgiveness and Self-Compassion script 2

The practice of forgiveness can help you develop self-compassion.

In self-compassion, you accept yourself for what you are. You can also treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and nonjudgmental awareness.

The best way to offer yourself compassion is to do so to the best of your ability in this moment. This includes forgiving yourself for the mistakes you make and for the things that you can’t change.

It also includes being kind and forgiving toward yourself when you make mistakes. This is an important part of the practice.

The idea of being gentle with yourself can sound paradoxical. Yet when you truly give yourself kindness, you are in fact offering yourself care and compassion.

This practice can help you overcome perfectionism and unrealistic expectations, especially when you find yourself getting frustrated with yourself over something you didn’t achieve.

The practice of self-compassion has been shown to improve emotional health and can be helpful for people who have depression and anxiety.

Begin with a few minutes of mindful breathing and then gently sit up.

Take a few moments to become aware of the body. Observe the posture and the sensations of the body as they arise.

Bring awareness to your breath and notice the sensation of the breath.

Begin to focus on the body’s sensations. Breathe deeply as you do so.

When you find yourself becoming too distracted, just bring your attention back to the breath.

If you find yourself focusing too much on a sensation or thought, try to notice it and return to the breath.

Begin offering yourself the same amount of compassion you would offer a friend.

Imagine that your heart is a garden. You can give yourself the same amount of love and care that you would give to a friend.

Practice this for several minutes.

You may begin to notice yourself getting caught up in thoughts, such as worries about the future or regret about the past.

As you begin to get lost in these thoughts, take a moment to bring your attention back to the breath.

After a few minutes, return to your own body and observe the sensations as they arise.

If you feel that your mind is becoming overwhelmed by thoughts, simply notice them. They won’t disappear, but you may find it helpful to just notice the thoughts and let them go.

It is also important to notice what you are grateful for. If you notice that you are having a difficult time appreciating things, then that is a good indicator that you need more self-compassion.

Forgiveness and Self-Compassion script 3

Forgiveness and self-compassion are connected, but different.

With forgiveness, we focus on the harm someone has caused us. With self-compassion, we focus on the suffering we have created for ourselves.

When you are ready to explore both of these areas, use the following guided meditation practice. It will give you a chance to explore the benefits of forgiveness and self-compassion together.

Start by sitting in a comfortable position in which you can relax. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.

Ask yourself: What does forgiveness look like in my life? What would I say to somebody who I was angry with? How would I express my disappointment to that person?

After a few moments, ask yourself: What does self-compassion look like in my life? What might I say to myself if I saw the suffering in my mind and body? How would I handle my fear and frustration?

Now turn your attention to the breath. Notice how it moves in and out of the body. Breathe naturally for a few minutes.

Imagine that you are walking through a beautiful garden.

It’s filled with flowers, trees, and green grass. You walk into the garden and see the beauty and peace in every part.

Think of an incident in your life in which you felt hurt or upset.

What did you do when you felt this way? Did you forgive yourself or hold on to the suffering? Think of the effect of these actions on your mind and heart.

Begin to open up a connection between the situation you are thinking about and your experience of self-compassion.

As you begin to bring self-compassion to these moments in your life, notice how your heart opens and the energy of compassion begins to flow.

What are the effects of bringing self-compassion to these moments of anger or fear in your life? What is the difference between forgiving yourself and being compassionate with yourself?

Allow yourself to feel the difference in your heart.

If you are willing to explore more of these differences in your own life, continue reading the practice below.

Click here to get back to the list of self-compassion meditation scripts

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