To practice loving-kindness meditation, you will engage in an exercise in which you bring loving-kindness to yourself, then to someone else, and finally to all beings.
You can also practice loving-kindness with friends and family.
Begin sitting comfortably with your back straight, and allow a sense of warmth and kindness to enter the body. Feel the kindness and friendliness that is present in the body.
As you do this, notice the difference between being kind and being kind to yourself. Can you feel kindness even toward yourself? How does this make you feel?
Bring to mind somebody who has harmed you. Imagine that you send them a message of friendliness, kindness, and love.
How does this feel? Does it feel different than the feeling you have for yourself?
In the next part of the meditation, extend the same sense of friendliness to somebody else. Imagine you are sending them the same message.
Can you see the difference in the way you feel as you direct kindness to yourself versus to somebody else? How do you feel differently?
Next, extend the same kindheartedness to all beings. What does it mean to be friendly with all beings? Can you feel kindness even to those who don’t deserve kindness?
Is it easier or harder to be kind to all beings than it is to be kind to yourself?
How does it feel to be kind to all beings? Does it feel different?
End the practice by returning to the breath. Resting the mind on the breath, notice how your body feels when you bring the mind back to your body.
Start with a few minutes of focused attention, allowing the mind to settle and focus. You can focus on the body, sensations, or thoughts that arise in the mind. It’s okay if your mind wanders, because this meditation is all about cultivating the mind, not necessarily about getting rid of thoughts.
Next, bring to mind a person who has done you no harm. Even if the person has done harm to you in the past, begin with someone you are neutral towards, like a friend or relative. Then move to a person you are neutral towards, like a colleague or roommate.
Move to someone you are neutral towards, then someone you dislike, then someone you hate, and finally someone you are indifferent towards. As the meditation continues, your mind will become less interested in judging people and more interested in loving kindness and compassion.
When you feel ready, offer a phrase of loving-kindness and compassion to this person. Begin by offering a simple phrase: May you be safe. May you be happy. May you live with ease.
Continue with more complex phrases that include a request to be well, and add in phrases that connect you with the person’s suffering, like: May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you be free of pain.
As you continue with the meditation, you will realize that the mind begins to soften. Your heart opens and you begin to feel connected to others.
Eventually, you may feel so compassionate that you want to offer the same phrases to yourself, but only if you are willing to accept yourself as you are.
To do so, repeat the phrases to yourself: May I be safe. May I be happy. May I live with ease. May I be peaceful. May I be healthy. May I be free of pain.
Loving-kindness meditation has been a core practice in Tibetan Buddhism since the 9th century.
In this meditation, we offer kindness to ourselves and others.
We may wish for happiness for ourselves or others.
When the phrase, May you be happy, arises in our minds, we can bring that intention to the present moment.
We can also practice a phrase of kindness for ourselves and for someone else. For example:
May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy.
We can use these phrases as reminders of kindness throughout the day, noticing them as they arise.
Sometimes we may notice a desire or a thought that arises, and we can then offer loving-kindness to that as well.
For example, a thought may pop into your mind about wanting something different for yourself or for someone else. You can then offer loving-kindness to that thought.
It is a powerful practice to learn to offer loving-kindness with every intention.
You can begin practicing this meditation by sitting in a comfortable posture and bringing your awareness to the breath.
When you are ready, invite an intention to open the heart. It may be a phrase you choose. It may also be a phrase of kindness.
Begin by breathing mindfully. When you feel ready, notice a desire or a thought that arises. Take the time to acknowledge it. Don’t try to push it away or resist it.
Simply be with it and offer loving-kindness to it. Repeat this process with a phrase of kindness. Continue until you have offered loving-kindness to every intention that arises.
For the next three minutes, just practice breathing, feeling the breath and the sensations of the body, and noticing what arises.
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