Steps to Self-Soothe by Reminding Yourself of Your Worth script 1

When you’re in pain, it is easy to fall into a place of self-doubt. You may wonder if you are even good enough, if you have done everything you can to make things right, if you are doing something wrong, or if the problem is truly your fault.

This kind of self-doubt can lead to depression and anxiety.

In this exercise, you will start to bring in a sense of trust and worth. You can see yourself as worthy and capable, no matter what you are going through.

Start by sitting comfortably and noticing your breathing. As you do this, notice that you are breathing. Notice the inhale and exhale.

As you breathe, say to yourself, “I am breathing.”

Say it a few times, and then bring your awareness to the feeling of your breathing. Notice the feelings of breath moving in and out of your lungs.

Notice the way your chest moves as you breathe, and see how it feels to breathe. Breathe for a few minutes, and notice the sensations of your breath in your body.

Then, notice how you feel. What does it feel like to be in your body? Does your body feel strong and relaxed, or are you tense and tight? What is your mood like?

Begin by being with the feelings that arise. You may find it helpful to use the phrases “I feel…” or “My body is feeling….”

Just be with the experience. Don’t try to change or control what you are experiencing.

After a few minutes of noticing, begin to think of something you are grateful for.

Maybe you are grateful that you can breathe, or that you have a good body. Or perhaps you are grateful for the fact that you are getting treatment for cancer. As you notice the feelings of gratitude, think of something else you are grateful for, like a friend, a pet, a meal, or a loved one.

Do this for a minute or two, and then return to your breathing.

Continue to pay attention to the sensation of breathing in your body and the feeling of the breath in your lungs.

Try to stay with these sensations, noticing what you are thinking about, what you are feeling, and how you are doing.

At first, this may be difficult. You may be thinking about something else, or feeling very different. This is fine. Just keep coming back.

You can also focus on your body, like you would focus on the breath. Bring your awareness to the sensations of the body and notice how they change.

When you feel ready, you can open your eyes and get up.

Take your time and move slowly. You may want to lie down, or practice deep breathing for a minute before moving around.

Once you are standing, take a few breaths and notice how you feel. Does your mind feel scattered, or do you feel calm? Do you feel more relaxed, or do you feel anxious?

If you feel any of the thoughts you might have about not being good enough, take a moment to look at those thoughts. You may be able to notice how your thoughts change as you notice your breath, and that will help to reduce the intensity of the thoughts.

Also, notice if you are thinking about anything at all. It may be helpful to bring awareness to the idea that thoughts are just thoughts, without any inherent truth.

The practice of self-soothe can be helpful to help you regain a sense of ease and acceptance. You may find it helpful to do this exercise when you feel distressed and upset, rather than trying to “fix” what you are experiencing.

Steps to self-soothe script 2

Sooth yourself! It’s a simple concept, but one that is hard to implement. So how do you get yourself to soothe yourself?

Start by noticing when you are feeling upset, overwhelmed, or stressed.

When you notice that, ask yourself, “What can I do right now?” The answer is almost always “nothing.”

Let go of the thought that you need to fix anything immediately. Instead, ask yourself what you can do now to help yourself calm down.

Often, that is all you can do, and it’s enough. Try to relax, and remember that there are many times when you can’t do more.

In this practice, we will walk you through a series of steps to calm down. They may seem simple at first, but they are all based on the principle of “Doing nothing is doing everything.”

The first step is to take a few minutes and become aware of your body.

Breathe in for three seconds and breathe out for three seconds. Repeat this pattern for a few minutes.

Next, notice what your mind is doing. Focus on the thoughts that come into your mind.

For example, if you are upset about something, notice how your mind is focused on that.

If you notice that your mind is racing, focus on noticing that.

At times, the mind may focus on the past, on a memory, or on the future. Notice those thoughts.

If you notice that your mind is thinking about something unpleasant, ask yourself what you can do to make yourself feel better now.

Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to help yourself calm down. In this moment, there is nothing you can do.

You can do something in the future, like make a phone call. You can plan to take a walk.

It’s often helpful to simply turn to a friend, or to watch a nature video. But if you notice that the mind is fixated on an unpleasant thought, it’s okay to ask yourself what you can do to help yourself calm down.

Finally, notice the emotions that arise in the mind and body. Are you afraid? Sad? Angry? These feelings can be helpful, but it is also fine to notice them and let them go.

If you notice that your mind is feeling anxious, it is a good idea to ask yourself, “What can I do to help myself feel better?” If you notice that you are feeling sad, it is a good idea to ask yourself, “What can I do to feel better?”

These thoughts and emotions are just temporary. Just as it is okay to feel afraid, sad, and angry, it’s also okay to feel calm, happy, and peaceful. In this exercise, we want you to see that there are many times when you can’t do anything to change the situation, and there are many times when you can.

There is always a choice. You can choose to do nothing. That’s always an option.

When You're Upset

Steps to self-soothe when upset script 3

We all experience the painful emotions of anger, grief, and fear. These feelings often make us feel intense physical and mental stress.

When we’re stressed, our body doesn’t function well. We often have difficulty focusing and remembering, and it becomes hard to control our behavior.

It can be challenging to remain calm when we’re stressed. But with mindfulness, you can learn to soothe your mind and body.

Start by bringing awareness to the physical sensations of stress in your body. When you feel angry or fearful, you may notice tension throughout the body, perhaps in your shoulders, face, or jaw.

Pay attention to these sensations as they arise. Just notice them without trying to change them. This isn’t judgment.

Continue noticing sensations of stress, and imagine that you are breathing in through the left nostril, out through the right, and relaxing your body.

Bring attention to the sound of your breath coming into the body. Breathe in a relaxed way, with no effort.

Next, focus on the visual image of yourself, bringing your awareness to how you look. Your eyes may be tight, your cheeks may be red, your teeth clenched. You may have an unpleasant expression on your face.

Notice that, just like breathing, these are not the only possible facial expressions.

You may find it useful to use a mirror to reflect on the image of yourself. In this practice, focus on the qualities of your face. Do you like how your face looks? If so, notice this.

If not, do you wish that you could look better? In this exercise, notice your thoughts about your face, and give them some attention. Does your mind judge you based on what you see? If so, notice that, too.

Now shift attention to your body. Bring awareness to the space between your ears. Pay attention to the energy you feel in the body, perhaps in the back of your neck or behind your knees.

The next step in the practice is to direct your attention to the sensations of your mind. Bring awareness to your thoughts.

Are you thinking about someone or something you’re upset about? What is your reaction to this thought? Notice the story your mind is telling about this situation. Is it true?

You might think, “I really can’t stand this person or situation. I’m going to get angry, yell, or cry.”

Notice that the mind is making a story about this. When you notice thoughts like this, stop and say to yourself, “The mind is making a story.” You are seeing the story, not the truth.

The next step is to bring your attention to the sensation of your body. How does the body feel? Does it feel strong, tense, or heavy? What parts of your body feel tense?

You may notice that your body is feeling stronger, or that your shoulders are pulled up in a stiff posture.

After a few minutes, shift to your emotions. Bring awareness to your emotional experience. Notice the feelings in your chest, stomach, or throat.

If you’re experiencing sadness, perhaps you’ll notice that your chest is full. You may experience anxiety, fear, or stress.

The next step is to bring your attention to your intentions. When you are upset, it may be easy to tell yourself that you want something else.

Perhaps you want the situation to go away. Or you may want to yell at the person who has upset you. When you notice these thoughts, just notice them.

Is there anything you want more than getting rid of your feelings?

Finally, bring attention to the experience of the present moment. Bring your awareness to the sensations of the body and emotions in this moment.

Notice how they are in this moment. For example, maybe you’re angry, and you’re aware of a sensation of heat in your chest. Does it feel like anger?

Maybe you are feeling upset, but you can’t remember why. Is there something about the situation that upsets you? Perhaps it reminds you of a difficult time in your life.

When you notice that you are upset, try to pause. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? How am I experiencing my body in this moment?

For the last few minutes, come back to the breath and the awareness of your body and emotions. Simply notice what is happening in this moment.

After a few minutes of resting in awareness, open your eyes and end the meditation.

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