Wishing ourselves well in moments of self-loathing script 1

Wishing for yourself can seem awkward or presumptuous. But it can also be very powerful when used as a tool for self-love and compassion.

Bring awareness to the body and notice the sensations of the breath.

Ask yourself what you appreciate about the body. Is it your strength? Your gracefulness? Your ability to move? The way your brain processes information? Your eyes?

Imagine that you are gazing upon yourself lovingly, and begin to wish for the best possible experience of yourself. You can offer a sentence to yourself that describes what you would like to see about yourself.

Here are some phrases you could use:

“I wish for myself to be strong and wise.”

“I wish for myself to be beautiful.”

“I wish for myself to have a wonderful mind.”

“I wish for myself to be calm.”

“I wish for myself to be peaceful.”

“I wish for myself to be happy.”

Now close your eyes and imagine the energy of your wish radiating throughout your entire being. Breathe in deeply, and hold that image of yourself for a moment. As your awareness rests on the breath, breathe out deeply, releasing any negative feelings that arise during this exercise.

Wishing myself well in moments of self-loathing script 2

Some days we find ourselves hating ourselves.

Maybe you have an argument with your mother or brother, and then spend the rest of the day feeling bad about it. Or you have to tell your boss you can’t meet a deadline, and you feel ashamed about the outcome.

We can easily get stuck in a cycle of self-hate. And in that moment of self-loathing, we may forget to wish ourselves well.

Wishing ourselves well means looking at ourselves with kindness and tenderness. You can think about what you like about yourself.

You can think about how you’re doing in general and how you’re coping with life.

You can use the phrases that make you feel good, such as “I’m happy,” “I’m resilient,” and “I’m grateful.”

Try to say the words with intention, using your whole being, rather than just thinking them. If you want to take this a step further, practice speaking kindly to yourself. For example, if you feel bad about a situation, think about what kind of person you want to be. Then you can think about your actions and how they might be making you feel.

You may also wish yourself well by saying things like, “I’m a good friend to myself.”

Begin by focusing on the breath and noticing the physical sensations of breathing. You can also connect to your body in any way that feels comfortable.

Close your eyes and notice how you’re breathing. Think about the experience of breathing, and when you notice that you’re having a thought, pause to bring your attention back to the sensation of breathing.

Repeat this process for five minutes.

When the time is up, gently open your eyes. Stay connected to the breath for a few more minutes.

Breathe deeply and slowly for a few minutes to ground yourself in your body.

Wishing ourselves well in moments of self-loathing script 3

When you feel down, what do you wish for yourself? Do you have some ideal vision of what your life could look like if you were happy or successful? Or do you focus on your flaws? Do you think, “I’m just no good,” or “No matter how hard I try, I will never succeed”?

Mindfulness can help you develop a kinder vision of yourself.

To begin, sit comfortably in a chair. Bring your awareness to the sensations of your body breathing.

Now invite a feeling of warmth in your heart, noticing the softness of kindness in your heart.

Bring awareness to a simple action.

Choose something simple, like taking a deep breath.

Begin to think of something you would like to happen to you. You might imagine a person you admire and wish to emulate them. You can also visualize a moment in your future that you wish to experience, like having a long conversation with your loved one.

Whatever you envision, imagine yourself experiencing it. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t realistic or possible at the time. If you can imagine it happening, it will.

After a few minutes, switch your focus. Imagine someone you dislike, like a bully who has made you feel bad.

What do you wish for yourself in this moment? How can you change your life to become happier and healthier? What can you do right now to bring about positive changes in your life?

If you are having difficulty imagining yourself as better, you can begin to connect with your thoughts of yourself. You don’t need to believe that you are perfect to see yourself as worthy or valuable. You don’t have to be the best or most intelligent or capable to appreciate yourself.

When you focus on the qualities you like about yourself, it can feel awkward or embarrassing to admit these things. It is easy to ignore them and stay focused on negative self-talk.

The mindfulness practice can help you connect with the qualities you like about yourself.

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